In the Morning:
I could only stay in the bath for so long, as I had seen my share of water for the day. Once I was clean I slowly made my way to the bed where I slept. The room was lit up as the sun had begun to rise for a new day. I laid in the soft bed reflecting on what had happened. I wondered why my life was spared and what was the meaning of it all. What began to trouble me again was what to do for money. I could no longer feed off of my family. The only thing I could imagine doing was accepting the job where she works. The woman that drove me to the insanity of wanting death over life. What new horrors could she possibly do to weaken my mental state? I was already a wreck, I doubt she could do anything more to me or so I assumed. So it was then that I decided to go down in the afternoon to see her and ask in all my discomfort for a job. I was too tired and beat up to do anything in the morning, once my decision was made I fell asleep and slept for several hours.
When I awoke my entire body was stiff and every time I thought about raising myself out of bed my muscles screamed with pain. Though my responsibility to myself and my family lay heavier on my shoulders, I found the strength to get out of the bed. I went over to the dresser in my room and picked out the nicest shirt and slacks that I owned. I put on my shoes and slicked back my hair. I had to make a good impression. There was no other option for me. I would have to face my fears, my pains, my demon and I was going to look good while doing it.
I walked down the stairs to where my Mother was eating some bread by the counter. She had large purple curlers in her hair and her makeup was caked on like a rodeo clown. “Where are you off to in such a rush today?” She said with a sarcastic tone. “I’m off to find a job mother.” I replied to her. “Well it’s about God Damn Time!” She yelled to me as I walked out the door of my parent’s home.
Over and over in my mind I told myself to be courageous. I had to have my confidence soaring if I was to ask for a job, from the very woman that tormented my dreams and my hopes. She was everything to me, and I needed her. The thing that I was afraid of was the fact that she didn’t need me. She had her life, her new fiancé, and her career. I was just a low life, but I was a man without anything to lose. This was the strength that I found to carry each foot step to her place of work.
It was a large building, with many flashing red and yellow lights. A daunting large sign hung above the door that said “Leave it to Beaver’s A Gentleman’s club.” I took a deep breath and made my way to the door. Before I could enter a large grizzly bear of a man with a name tag that said Butch opened the door. With his gruff voice he asked me “Going somewhere cowboy?” I stared at his large biceps and his salt and pepper mustache. He had fine beads of sweat pouring off of his forehead. “Ahem!” he said.
“I..I’m here to see Starla.” I said as confidently as possible.
“I’m sure you are. They are always here for Starla, but there is a problem buddy. Starla is on stage tonight and she doesn’t take any visitors before a show.”
The sting of hearing “They are always here for Starla,” sent a mental bullet to my heart. It was true, Starla had many guys after her, wanting to be with her, fuck her, and do all types of strange fetishes with her, but it wasn’t something I liked to hear. After all a man was going to marry her.
“You must understand, I’m Starla’s…How do I explain this.” I tried to say before I was interrupted by this brute of a man.
“No you don’t seem to understand pal! (he said with an emphasis on Pal) You can’t see her. The boss won’t allow any of you scum bags to derail her from giving a top performance.”
It felt hopeless to argue with the man. I didn’t want to make the bear angry. I took a deep sigh and said “Fine, I’ll be back later tonight to see the show.”
“It costs money to get in, you know! So I expect you to have it.”
Shot down once again, I thought. How can it be so difficult for a man to talk to his ex-fiancé, let alone cost money to talk to her? Butch closed the door and I could hear the lock on it turned. I walked back over to the side of the road, where a lovely curb just perfect for sitting lay. I sat down, trying to think of a possible way of entering the club and seeing Starla. I had to talk with her in order to ask for a position. I wasn’t going to give up, for some reason my life was spared last night, I was not going to take no for an answer.
I stood back up from the comfy sidewalk and started to look for a way into the club. Maybe I could sneak in the back door? I walked over to the side of the building where the trail of flashing lights wrapped around and where more parking could be found. There was a side door there. I quickly looked around to see if anyone was watching, more importantly to see if Butch was watching. No one was there so I walked up to the door. It was locked.
Still I felt the necessity to continue on my search for getting into the building. I walked over to the back of the building where a metal wire fence with red panels (to block from people seeing into) was guarding the back entrance. Luckily, I could see through the cracks of the red panels that there was a door. This was my chance, but I knew if I was caught by Butch or anyone other than Starla I would be chased off the property and not allowed back in. Luckily I knew fate was with me.
Scaling the fence was no easy task. Especially when my muscles were so exhausted from my fight with death. Though I began to awkwardly lift my body up over the fence, I suddenly found myself stuck on top, with the pointed metal ends of the fence continuing to drive into my flesh. I screamed as I lifted myself off the metal fence and fell with a loud thud. The fence had done its worst to me as it had ripped a large hole into my nicest shirt and I was bleeding a little. The burn of an open wound always made me feel so alive. It was how I could find the courage to carry on with my ridiculous plan.
It was then that complete and utter terror seized my soul. The back door was opening. I could see the door handle jiggle a little as the door was forcibly opened. I scampered my way over to a table that was shaded underneath a giant oak tree. I sat down with my legs crossed and pretended to act like I was supposed to be there, before the person appeared.
Looking quite puzzled I saw a woman looking out at me. I couldn’t exactly see her face as it was shadowed from the inside of the club. Though I recognized the tattoos on her lower left thigh, a large butterfly dancing its way up around her inner leg. It was Starla! Thank god! It was then that I heard her elegant voice. “Wilford? Is that you? Why…What on earth are you doing back here?” She exclaimed. She walked outside with a cigarette in her hand. The red ember of the cigarette reflected the glitter off her cheek bones. She was wearing a black leather get up that showcased her cleavage and her belly button ring. She looked magnificent with her dark eye shadow on.
Sheepishly I sat there at the table as she walked over to me. I grinned, and waved to her. “What are you doing?” She said again.
“Well I thought I’d stop by to see your performance.” I tried to sound brave, but it rather came out like boy who just hit puberty. Squeaking at the end of my sentence.
“You couldn’t have used the front door? And what happened to your shirt?! Oh my god! And are you bleeding?” She frightfully said.
Her words of concern warmed my heart. I always loved that about her. She always knew how to make a man feel like a million bucks.
“Now not too many questions all at once my deer.” I said trying to keep it cool. I continued with “Truth is I came down to ask you about that position you told me about the other day. I’m in need of a job.”
“Oh the maintenance position?”
“yes of course, the maintenance position.”
“I believe it’s still available. You know how these clubs are run, they are always looking for someone to clean the desire rooms and shit from the toilet stalls.” She grinned as she took a puff from her cigarette.
“Yes, well I think I’m the man to do it.”
“Well then come on in. I’ll see if I can’t get you a talk with Teddy the proprietor of this fine establishment. However let’s get you cleaned up a little. Follow me.”
She came over and reached for my hand. I grabbed it as she helped me up from the table. It was like the fourth of July with thousands of fireworks exploding when I touched her hand. It was the softest and most beautiful hand I had ever seen. She slowly walked me over to the back door and I followed her in.
The place had a musty smell of tobacco and spilt whiskey. We walked together back into her dressing room. I noticed a big bright rose colored star with the letters S T A R L A acrossed it hanging on the front of the door. “Take a seat over there in front of the mirror, and remove your shirt. Don’t be shy now.” She said while walking to her closet. She was searching for something and threw all types of clothes to the other side of the room.
I looked at myself in the mirror. My nicely combed hair was no longer slicked back and looked like an animal had made a place of refuge in it. I licked my dirty fingers and tried to comb over the mess of hair. It was then that Starla found what she was looking for, a short sleeved red and green collared shirt. “Here it is!” she squealed with excitement. That was another thing I loved about her, she got so excited over the most contrived things. “Now this is Barry’s shirt that he left here after he brought me lunch yesterday.” She said. Barry was Starla’s new fiancé.
“Does Barry always leave without a shirt on?” I asked.
“No!” she said with a smirk “Alright mister smart guy let’s get you cleaned up.” She said while placing one hand on her hip and the other pointing to her mouth. I could tell she was thinking about what to do next.
I stared at her as she walked over to her purse on the wall. She had the tightest bottoms on and it appeared like she had a wedgie in between her perfect buttocks. She rummaged through her purse and pulled out a pack of baby wipes. “These are Alan’s, I’m sure he won’t mind if we use them. Alan was Starla’s 16 month old son” She laughed as she walked over to me. “Now let me see that cut!” she said.
I lifted my arm up from where the fence had bit me. The blood was dripping down my curved belly. She started to pull a few wipes out and washed my cut. The wipes stung every time she rubbed her hands on it. “Where did you come from Wilford?” She said with a sigh. I didn’t answer her, I was too busy looking into her beautiful emerald eyes.
Alright now let’s put this shirt on. She threw it at me and I unbuttoned it and slowly put it on. She went over to the drawer next the chair I was on and brought out a comb. “Lets do something with your wild hair.” She said next. I felt like I was her Barbie, or in this case Ken doll, but I was thankful for her help and acceptance. She started to comb the knots out of my hair with some force. “Owe!” I said. “Oh don’t be such a baby!” She retorted.
“There! As good as new.” She said while stepping back and taking a look at me. It was true, she made me look good even if I was in this smelly old shirt from her newest fiancé. “Now I want you to just stay here, and let me go talk to Teddy about you. Hopefully we can get you in for the position.” Starla said. She left me in her dressing room.
It was soon after she left that I could hear a bunch of commotion coming from outside her dressing room door. God I hope it isn’t Butch. Finally a knock and a voice came at the door. “Starla! Starla! Sweetheart I need you to decide something for me and Mandy. Are you in there!” It was two of the woman that worked at the Gentleman’s club. What do I do? Do I answer the door? No, I better not risk the chance of me getting caught by the brute of a man. I sat there and tried to not make a sound. The knock came again. “Starla! I’m coming in!” Oh Christ! I thought. The door opened. “Starla?” the woman looked into the room. She then let out a terrible scream!
It was soon after the woman screamed at me that Butch came running. “Whats all the god damn commotion mandy?” But said while running into Starla’s room. Looking at me with somewhat of a shock and little hesitation he began to come at me. “Why you sneaky little Bastard!” Butch yelled as he tried to grab me. I ducked as he ran into the dresser, but my next move wasn’t as glorious. I started to run for the door, but who knew the grizzly man had speed like a wild cat. He caught me by the neck and threw me out the door and on to the hard floor. The women continued to scream! “Help! Help! An intruder! A Rapist!” I heard one of the woman scream.
Right before the big lug Butch rang my bell, I heard Starla scream “STOP DON’T HIT HIM!” but it was too late. His right fist, the size of my head, landed and knocked me out cold.