I feel the need to share something about mother’s on this day, as I am sure a lot of you feel the same way. I like so many have had the privilege and honor to know some amazing women (mother’s), my mother being one of them. My mother, I have constantly said she is the glue to my family. She is the one that when things get crazy and difficult she always reminds us that we are a family and we must stick together. Of course she does this in her own special way, and those of you who know my mother can probably attest to this. Although this note is not only about how deeply I love my mother but all mothers.
I have been blessed when my life has had times of sorrow and need, by a mother. When I was younger I jaunted to a foreign land (Brasil) and was thrust into the different culture without any idea of how I would adapt. I am not ashamed to admit that I was culture shocked, almost dumbfounded by the way things were in this country. I was depressed and felt hopeless in a way that I couldn’t do anything to help the wonderful people there. Although it came to me long after my trip there that it wasn’t they who needed help but me. I met a woman who I am luckily still friends with today. She didn’t have much, but she had love for her family and her daughter. For some reason, possibly out of need, we connected and she took care of me. When I was sick, she provided me with medicine and something to eat. She talked to me for hours even though my Portuguese was horrendous. She was a mother to me, and I am forever grateful for her. Without her, I would not have been able to see the beauty of Brasil. Beauty that has changed my life forever. I place a picture below that reminds me of Brasil. It is a mother and a baby monkey, as I saw many of them in the trees by the place that I lived.
Love is so much apart of being a mother. A Love from a mother can shed its brilliant light on all of us in different ways. There is a time in my life that I don’t talk about, mostly because it is difficult for me, but on this day I would like to share a little bit about that life. I think I must start this off by a quote from Alan Watts that can relate to the topic of mothers or in this case motherhood. He says “We should not look at how we are made, but how we have grown.” Often time in life it is the mom who help their children grow. In 2008 I was blessed with the knowledge that a woman I was in love with was pregnant. My little child was going to be born. I couldn’t imagine that the greatest creation one can create was happening to me and I would be a father but with all things in life come complications. The mother and I had our differences and we both were young at the time. Although I loved her and my soon to be daughter, deep down we both knew that we were unable to give the child the life it needed and deserved. I am thankful for her mother being clear minded enough to see this. Through many complications and a few hardships we decided to give our baby girl up for adoption. The mother of my child, helped grow her for 9 long immensely difficult and stressful months. This mother was the start of this special child’s growth. This mother cared and loved her so deeply that when she was born she was a healthy baby. For that I am forever grateful to the mother, as later on in my life this child was the only reason that I am still alive. (Another story perhaps for another time) Might I also say that the strength of this mother was something that only I can explain by heroes of old, Hercules for some reason comes to mind. Strength that can only be called a myth by people who have never seen it. However I have seen this strength and I have felt this strength so I know that it exists. Its the strength of a mother. There are few who would be strong enough, intelligent enough, to give their baby up for adoption while admitting to themselves that they are not ready for motherhood.
(What more fitting animal then a Lion to express strength)
This was a time of a dark spiral in my own life, as I had lost almost everything I had loved and cared about. My parents were losing their home, my father had lost his job and I watched as they received no answers to their misery. In my own circumstance I had lost my job, my car, my child, and the woman I loved and in my despair luckily I was blessed by another mother. Sometimes it seems people are in our lives for a short season, but for profound reasons. She was the mother, to the daughter that bore my child. She showed compassion to me, and when I was alone she gave me some advice that I will never forget. She told me about her own life and some of the stories that she has had that helped shape my perspective, but there is one thing that stands out and I can’t forget. She said to me “Its ok to cry. Its ok to be upset.” In a world where a man can’t cry, where a man has to be strong, I have always felt ashamed of crying until she said it was ok. Sometimes its the strong that cry. She then said something that I felt was great advice. She said “You can cry, cry your heart out. Go home and do this, but only do it tonight. Tomorrow is a new day and you have to be strong for whatever happens next.” It is important to remember in difficult times to stay positive and keep your head up. Another magnificent mother blessed my life. It is only natural and fitting that her daughter would be so strong, because she was raised by a woman that was equally strong in her own way.
I come to the end of my post, but not without saying something about the Mother who adopted my little girl. She was a woman that I hardly knew at the start of the adoption, but luckily has become a close friend to me through the past few years. In life we are expected to make choices, to change, to grow. It was important to me to see my daughter grow and be given a life that I couldn’t give her. Something a man like myself must swallow his pride on, because I, myself, was unable to give her the life that I wanted to see her have. Through the years I have watched from a short distance of how my little girl is growing. I guess its a fatherly instinct. This mother (and father) has treated my little girl (now theirs) with a love that is so powerful and amazing that one can only compare it to the Sun. The sun is what gives life. This mother has not only loved her as her own, but given her a beautiful life. This precious little girl is now happily growing everyday and as this mother shines like the sun, there becomes no doubt in my mind that she and her husband are supposed to raise this little girl. And although I will always love this little girl with all of my being, I know she is being taken care of and loved by two amazing people.
(I have always loved elephants because of how consciously aware they are. They are an animal that constantly loves and watches over their children. I don’t know of a better animal I could choose to represent such love)
I couldn’t be more grateful to all the mothers that have blessed my life. I can only hope that my post might bring to light how important women and mothers are to each and every one of us. The Dali Lama once said “The world will be saved by the western woman.” I couldn’t agree more. Happy mothers day to all woman, who want kids, have kids, give kids up for adoption, and to all those woman who love. All of you make this world a better place and gives me hope for the future. Happy Mothers Day.