I wasn’t supposed to be told when you were being born,
She didn’t want me there, she didn’t love me.
Her grandmother called me the night it was happening.
I, like The hospital was empty and lonely.
Waiting out side the room to see the doctor nonchalantly let in.
The love of my life was giving birth to the light of my life.
The door was closed, shut, locked.
I was a stranger in the night.
Waiting for some sort of sign, a cry, to know you were alright.
To know you were here, to shine your light in my darkest time.
I heard your mother cry in pain, and then your little voice scream.
You were here and I didn’t get to see you come into the world.
A fathers love almost took control of me. I almost kicked down the door.
Finally grandma came outside. “She wants you!” she told me.
The love of my life let me into the room.
My child was pink and wrapped in a blanket.
Her mother held you so close, and I was jealous.
When I saw the two greatest things in my life I started to cry.
No man is strong enough to not shed a tear.
I want to hold you so close, so tight, so I could feel your beautiful light.
Knowing that I’d only have 24 hours to get to know you.
Adoption was coming, though I never wanted it to.
They told me to sleep, but how could I shut my eyes.
The most beautiful thing I’d ever see was finally alive.
Who would have thought that the man who gave you life,
would need you to save his.
Your light shines so that I might live.
Little girl I love you, please understand that I never wanted to lose you.
If one thing was ever true, it was my love for mommy and you.
Grow up and be happy. I’ll be watching patiently outside the door for the day that I get to be let back in.
Like the door that kept me away from seeing you born
I’ll be waiting there for you.
Because a fathers love has never been so true.
Little Abby, my princess, grow up and be happy,
and when you want me, I’ll be around.
to hold you so close, so tight, so I can feel your beautiful light.