Fucking Blank Page

Fucking Blank Page
By Cam

Twine wraps around my aging body,
too tight, the circulation is cut off. Purple skin.
Pulsating, beating, dead.
No embrace from the feel of something different.
I’m terrified of life, because life has chewed my soul down to rubble.
and I’m still alive.
So I sit, I won’t brave another attempt.
The storm, the one where Christ awoke and with a wave from his mighty hand it stopped, ceasing to rage on.
All the fisherman saved, while his legacy grew.
a different storm, My storm, capsized the boat and Christ never awoke.
He drowned. I drowned.
The twine around my throat, wrapped around until my body croaked.
The waves they crashed my lifeless limbs against the aging rocks.
Blood stained the sea, while sharks took bits from my abdomen.
And everyone wonders why I keep to myself. A hermit, without any notes.
Loner, Loser, trapped in a four walled sanctuary, television blaring.
Fucking blank page. My Legacy dead.

Lung Cancer, Coffee, and Love


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Laughter fills the great hall of my pulmonary.
Smoke rolls in like the great adversary.
Polluting and drugging the alveoli,
While the milk and coffee soothes the burn,
The thought of you is all I yearn.

Isn’t it enough that the young never die?
Or is it the crazy that live forever?
Either way young and crazy is a concoction that I’d like to try.
Wouldn’t it be marvelous to sign up for that kind of life.
Her words echoed through the prison bars of my mind.
It wouldn’t be life if you weren’t by my side…echoing, shaking, echoing through out time.

The children gather, as steam rises into the cold winter sky.
The trees grow, the birds sing, and the lilacs paint a surreal scene.
How nice it would be to stay young, How nice it would be to grow old.
The two differ, but are seen throughout time as a lie.
The universe is a blessing, and the beauty is unrelenting.
Life is our gift, and love is the prize.

A Thought of Fruition


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Urge us to feel! To love, to notice the stars above.
Fight us, when we become stagnant, unevolved, and dead.
Let the sweet melodies of the wind serenade our souls,
Help us begin to understand that life was never meant to be dull.
Cut the bands from our wrist, and free our hearts.
Purge us from our consumption, hate, and greed to start.
Let the word go forth into the streets that we are alive, awakened, and progressing.
No more war, famine, and hunger.
We will no longer let our powers slumber.
The blood in my veins pours out onto this page,
as we are royalty and cannot be caged.
The world is harsh, unrelenting and cruel,
Let us work together to become a magnificent tool.
Fixing the evil, educating the ignorant, and cleansing the cesspool we find in each of us.
We are mankind and our strength lies within ourselves.
Urge us to lust for life,
To live without doubts, indecency, and malice.
Let fruition come to us and let us start to believe again.
The start begins with us.

Top 25 Songs of 2013


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Here is my annual music in review. I decided to go the song route this time as it was difficult for me to find the time to listen to everything that came out. This year was a strange and beautiful year for music. I hope everyone enjoys my list and feel free to share with me your favorite songs of 2013.

1- Kanye West Song: New Slaves
2- Arcade Fire Song: After Life (Runner Ups: Reflektor, We Exist, Supersymmetry)
3- Earl Sweatshirt Song: Chum
4- Aloe Blacc Song: Wake Me Up (Runner Up: The Man)
5- Devendra Banhart Song: Never Seen Such Good Things
6- Eminem Song: Rap God
7- Laura Marling Song: I Was An Eagle (Runner Up: Take the Night off)
8- Blood Orange Song: You’re Not Good Enough
9- Parquet Courts Song: Stoned and Starving
10- Pearl Jam Song: Getaway
11- Serengeti Song: Directions
12- Portugal. The Man: Song: Sea of Air (Runner Up: Modern Jesus)
13- Deltron 3030 Song: City Rising from the Ashes
14- Big Sean Ft: Kendrick Lamar and Jay Electronica Song: Control
15- Hiam Song: The Wire
16- MGMT Song: Cool Song No. 2 (Runner up: Alien Days)
17- Deerhunter Song: Back to the Middle (Runner Ups: Sleepwalking, Punk)
18- Captain Murphy Ft: Viktor Vaughn, Earl Sweatshirt, and Thundercat Song: Between Villains
19- Blue Sky Black Death Song: V
20- Justin Timberlake Mirrors (Runner Ups: Tunnel Vision, Space Coupe, Suit & Tie)
21- Tyler the Creator Song: Cowboy (Runner Up: Bimmer)
22- A$ap Rocky Song: Long Live A$ap (Runner Up: Hell)
23- Jay Z Song: Heaven
24- Queens of the Stone Age Song: Keep Your Eyes Peeled
25- Bill Callahan Song: Small Plane

Lackadaisical Inside Me


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Lackadaisical Inside Me
By: Cam

Tonight the devil laughs at my lackadaisical mood.
His uncut jagged fingernails point at me, damning me from my work.
I have no desire to write, paint, create.
The animal inside is winning the battle tonight.
I want to sit and let the powers at hand win.
I am feeling alone; at least I have my shadow.
What might be worse is I’m afraid to be around people.
I’m confrontational.Pompous.
Pretentious, with nothing to show and maybe nothing to give.
All my confusion, my paranoia, and unwillingness cloud my mind.
I am a child trying walk through the valley of darkness.
No guidance, but a grudge that helps me put one foot in front of the other.
A desire to get back what I lost.
Tonight I have fallen from my shadow, lost in a world of television and failure.
Pornography whispers to the animal inside of me,
Fuck and beat until you want to sleep.
Everyone else does it, everyone else is the same.
You will not overcome the overpowering spell on mankind.
Walk the same path, be the same path, become nothing, as all of this is bleeding inside me.
There is only one way to find me, a blank page, and the start of my fingers typing.
As redemption only comes through action.


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